Extracts from the secret diaries of cats

[klmn405]

DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from shredding on the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant and cough it up on the carpeting. DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair... must try this on their bed (again).DAY 762 - Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, inattempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was ...Hmmm. Not working according to plan...mostro puma (http://www.chaussurespuma.net/)puma chaussure (http://www.chaussurespuma.net/) puma shoes (http://www.chaussurespuma.net/)chaussure puma (http://www.chaussurespuma.net/)speed cat puma (http://www.chaussurespuma.net/)DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth and the tiny bit of flesh under my claws.DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue (something akin to mole speak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured.But I can wait; it is only a matter of time....

[klmn405]

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[klmn405]

Two storks are sitting in their nest: a father stork and baby stork. The baby stork is crying and crying and father stork is trying to calm him. "Don?Lt worry, son. Your mother will come back. She?Ls only bringing people babies and making them happy." The next night, it?Ls father?Ls turn to do the job. Mother and son are sitting in the nest, the baby stork is crying, and mother is saying "Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now he?Ls bringing joy to new mommies and daddies." nike air max 2009 (http://www.nikeshoxr4.net/nike-air-max-2009-c-36.html)A few days later, the stork?Ls parents are desperate: their son is absent from the nest all night! Shortly before dawn, he returns and the parents ask him where he?Ls been all night. Ralph Lauren Shirts (http://www.poloofr.com/) The baby stork says, "Nowhere. Just scaring the hell out of college students!" ?B

[klmn405]

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